


Pulling Away

by DarkAliceLilith



Series: We Remain [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of past self harm, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAliceLilith/pseuds/DarkAliceLilith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t need to know the past, but he did need to know what was wrong with his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulling Away

**Author's Note:**

> This gets kinda of dark, and to be honest a lot of it hits pretty close to home so it was a hard story to write. It actually took me a couple of months because I had to step away from it. I am also very nervous to be posting this.

Danny turned over in bed, opening his eyes and looking at the empty spot next to him. It had been empty for almost a week, Ethan having retreated to his own bedroom instead. He sighed softy and slowly got up, grabbing a pair of jeans and slipping them on. He walked over to his dresser and opened up a drawer. He stopped for a moment, picking up one of Ethan’s shirts that had made its way in there.

It wasn’t the bed sharing that bothered him. Their relationship was still relatively new and he didn’t expect Ethan to sleep with him every night. It felt like Ethan was pulling away. A part of him wondered if he had done something wrong, while another part of him questioned if Ethan was picking back other habits. He set the shirt down and grabbed one of his tanks, slipping it on before making his way downstairs. 

Jackson leaning against the counter drinking his coffee and he could spot Aiden on the back porch with a cigarette between his lips. “Ethan come down yet?” Danny asked and Jackson shook his head. 

“Haven’t seen him yet, maybe he’s still in bed.”

Danny nodded. “Alright, I’ll go wake him up then.” He made his way back up the stairs and to Ethan’s room. He gently knocked a couple of times and received no answer. He knocked again before trying the door to find it unlocked. He pushed the door opened and poked his head in. “Ethan? Babe?”

He could just barely see him on the other side of the bed and walked inside, closing the door behind him. “Ethan?” He tried again, but Ethan didn’t respond. He walked over to him to see Ethan had his head bowed and knees pulled up to his chest. Danny knelt down, seeing the open pocket knife held tightly in Ethan’s hand. He didn’t see any visible cuts and pulled the knife out of Ethan’s hands, closing it and setting it aside. “Ethan?” He whispered. “Ethan, look at me.”

Slowly, Ethan lifted his head, his face tear stained and eyes red from crying. Danny reached out and touched Ethan’s cheek, brushing away his tears. “Babe, what’s wrong?” He gently touched Ethan’s chin, making sure his boyfriend didn’t look away. “Ethan, did you cut yourself?”

Ethan shook his head. “No,” he croaked out. “I-I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.” He moved a hand down to his thigh and Danny gently pushed it away to see just a small drop of blood, a small mark just barely breaking skin, nothing that would scar. His fingers gently moved along the rest of Ethan’s thigh. It was littered in scars, something Danny noticed before but never asked about. 

Ethan was very quiet about his past. Danny knew nothing beyond the bike gang and the drug deals. Ethan didn’t seem willing to talk about it and Danny wasn’t going to push. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to know about everything about Ethan’s past and Danny was okay with that.

He pulled his hand away and cupped Ethan’s face. He didn’t need to know the past, but he did need to know what was wrong with his boyfriend. “Talk to me, Ethan,” Danny said. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Ethan, you wanted to cut yourself,” Danny said softly, gently caressing one of Ethan’s cheeks with his thumb. “Why?” Ethan mumbled something and Danny leaned a little bit closer. “A little louder Ethan, I didn’t hear you.”

Tears started to fall down his face. “Because I’m worthless.”

Danny blinked back tears. “Ethan, you are not worthless.”

“I am,” Ethan said, lip quivering. “I’ve fucked up people’s lives. I’ve fucked up my own life. Given enough time, I’ll fuck up yours too.” He started to sob, clutching his knees close to his chest. “I’m not a good person, Danny. You-you shouldn’t be with me. You should be with someone better. Someone who deserves you.”

Danny wiped Ethan’s tears away, fighting to keep himself calm even as he felt his heart break. “If you’re such a bad person, then why did you stop? Why didn’t you go through with it?” He moved his hand down to Ethan’s thigh. “You could have done it, Ethan. You could have cut yourself, but you stopped. What made you stop?”

Ethan was silent for several seconds before whispering, “I-I thought of you."

“Ethan, how many times have you almost done this?” Ethan went quiet, but more tears fell down his face and he looked away. Danny couldn’t hold back his own tears as he wrapped his arms around Ethan and pulled him close. Slowly, hesitantly, Ethan returned the embrace, burying his face in Danny’s neck as he cried harder. Danny held him tighter, not knowing what to say. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Ethan spoke, his voice muffled slightly. “You deserve so much better than me, Danny. I’m not-I’m not any good for you.”

Danny pulled back and cupped Ethan’s face again. “I don’t believe that. I love you, Ethan,” He said, voice shaking. “No one has ever made me as happy as you have, Ethan. No one.”

“You’re not happy right now.”

Danny smiled sadly, wiping away Ethan’s tears. “No relationship can be perfect all the time, Ethan.” He paused for a moment, looking into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I don’t want anyone else, Ethan. I want you. I love you. And-and I want to help you through whatever you’re going through. I’m here for you, Ethan and I’m not leaving you again. I-I couldn’t do that. I love you. I love you, Ethan.” His voice got quiet, pulling Ethan close again. “You’re-you’re my everything.” He trembled as he held his boyfriend. “I can’t bear the thought of living without you.”

“This shouldn’t be your burden.”

“Shh..,” Danny whispered, running his fingers through Ethan’s hair. “How about you lie down for a bit? I’m sure the bed is much more comfortable than this floor.”

Ethan clutched Danny tighter. “Are you going to leave?”

Danny shook his head. “No. Not until I know you’re going to be okay.” 

They got under the covers, Danny spooning up to Ethan, holding him tightly. There were still tears falling down Ethan’s face and Danny wiped them away, kissing his cheek and whispering words of comfort to him. Several minutes later, the tears dried up and sleep claimed Ethan, Danny not leaving his side for even a second.

When Ethan awoke several hours later, it was to the sound of Danny trying to talk quietly into his phone. He yawned and turned over, to where Danny was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Just tell Laura It’s family emergency and she can yell at me tomorrow,” Danny mumbled, before sighing and rubbing at his forehead. “Then reschedule them Lydia! I can’t-I can’t come in today. I’m sorry. Yeah, I know. Okay. Okay, bye.” He tossed his phone aside and sighed again, bowing his head. 

Ethan slowly sat up and sat behind him, wrapping his arms around Danny’s waist. “You don’t have to stay home because of me.”

“I want to,” Danny said, taking one of Ethan’s hands in his and giving it a squeeze. “I want to be here for you.”

“You do so much for me, I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

Danny turned around. “Part of being in a relationship is being there for one another, and I’m here until the end.” He placed his hands on Ethan’s knees and went quiet for a moment. “I did some thinking while you were sleeping and I think there are some things that we need to talk about.”

Ethan wrapped his arms around himself and looked away. “What do you mean?”

Danny’s fingers moved up Ethan’s thighs, tracing the various scars there. “Ethan, when you’re upset, you-you get self-destructive. I think you need help, help that I can’t give you.”

“No.”

“Ethan, please. All I’m asking is that you go talk to someone,” Danny said. “I love you and it kills me to see these.” He took one of Ethan’s arms, pulling it out to reveal the burns on his wrists. Ethan refused to look, feeling the tears welling up again. “Ethan, please.”

“No. They’ll put me on drugs.”

“I don’t like drugs either, but Ethan, you almost cut yourself today. You need help. I don’t want to see you spiral out of control. I almost lost my best friend to his self-destruction; I won’t stand there and watch my boyfriend go down the same road.” Tears fell down Ethan’s face and Danny reached up to wipe them away but Ethan pulled away from him. “Ethan…we can take this slow, but I need you to get help. I can’t-I can’t lose you.”

“Aiden, can’t know,” Ethan whispered. “I don’t want him to know.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“Can-can you hold me? Please?”

Danny scooted over and wrapped his arms around Ethan, laying back against the bed. “I love you, Ethan. I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, but it’s going to be okay,” Danny said, running his fingers through Ethan’s hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I am going to be here for you, Ethan. I promise.”

Ethan buried his face in Danny’s neck, and Danny could feel tears falling on his skin. He just held Ethan tighter and kept repeating that he loved him.


End file.
